Despite our best efforts,
and those of our wonderful vet,
our beloved oldest feline son, Amaretto,
died at about 7:20 this morning.

The vet came to our apartment to give both cats a 6 month check up on Tuesday, March 27. He called us with great alarm on Thursday the 29th to say that while Aliņo was fine (aside from elevated liver enzymes that appear to be "normal" for him), Amaretto's kidney values were off the charts and he needed to be hospitalized immediately. We knew that Amaretto had been having kidney problems for about 6 months (this has NOTHING to do with the death of pets from the recent pet food recall scare), but we did not realize they had become so serious-there were no external signs that his kidney problem had become that much worse, especially since Amaretto has always been a "hydroponic" cat, drinking lots of water daily for all of the years we have had him. Amaretto was in the veterinary hospital for six days (suffering a seizure last weekend that gave even our vet little hope of his surviving long enough to get out of the hospital), and we brought him home on Wednesday of this week. The vet showed us how to deliver I.V. fluids for him once a day and give him additional medications on top of his usual twice daily insulin injections. He was still having trouble, being unable to walk more than a few steps without falling over, and requiring assistance to move around anywhere beyond turning himself over on his day bed. We set up his I.V. fluids on the coat rack in our bedroom, and put a low entrance "kitten" litter box and an extra food/water tray set up right next to the cats' day bed on the floor near our closet. Amaretto seemed to be managing, and quickly learned that any soft "meow" would bring one or the other (or sometimes both) of us running to help him do whatever he needed to. He had his insulin, I.V. fluids and his medications last night, and ate a good dinner - a salmon mix that is highly recommended for cats with CRF (Chronic Renal Failure). He seemed very anxious to get into his napping round as opposed to the day bed last night-the round is a steep sided sleeping area with a heating pad on the bottom that we ave two of (one for each cat) right next to our bed. In retrospect, the vet commented that his body temperature may have already been dropping at that point. He meowed to wake Peg up at about 6:45 this morning and was put in his litter box, but struggled to get out after only a few seconds. He had an accident on Peg and on the floor while he was being moved from the litter box to his day bed, and Derek was woken up to help clean up the puddles. A few minutes later, he was having trouble breathing and his body went into noiseless "hiccupping" motions that lasted for only a very few minutes. Then he went totally limp, unable to even hold his head up. We called the vet immediately, being at a total loss as to what to do, but it was already too late. Amaretto had stopped breathing and his eyes were unresponsive to the touch. He was warm, but totally limp as Peg picked him up and carefully placed him in the cat carrier for his final cab ride downtown to the veterinary hospital. He will be privately cremated and we will keep his ashes to eventually mingle with our own for burial at sea.

You must understand that for a couple with no children, pets become the substitute and we would do whatever it takes to keep Amaretto and Aliņo safe and as comfortable as possible for as long as possible. Amaretto was our precious gift! Back in May of 1991 (shortly after Derek and I first met while working on our Ph.D degrees at Rutgers), Cathy Hill told us that she had one surviving kitten from Moonlight's first litter who needed to be hand-bottle-fed and made to go to the bathroom (at that time on a dish towel-hundreds of them over those first months!) every two to three hours, we accepted the responsibility on the condition that the kitten might, or might not, live. Derek went back to his family in Cleveland for Spring Break that same week (oddly prophetic in that Peg is currently on Spring Break from St. Bernard's), but bought Peg a special gift box with a large bottle of Amaretto liquor and two glasses for her collection. That night, on the steps of our back porch in New Brunswick, NJ, the name of that tiny 2 day old bright white kitten was decided before we even knew he would survive those first days with us. Little did we know then how wonderful our teeny baby creature would turn out to be, and what a center to our lives that he would become!

Amaretto was totally dedicated to us, but mean and unfriendly to any other person who came within striking or biting distance. Many of our friends (and any number of vets) bear the literal scars of trying to be "nice" to Amaretto, but he was as sweet and loving with the two of us as any pet can be. He adored us both, transitioning from being "Peg's cat" to being "Derek's cat" over the years. He loved to sit on Derek's computer table, keeping "Papa" company while Derek played his computer games in the evenings and on weekends. He loved to spend time with his favorite toy, a stuffed hippo that we purchased at the Toronto Zoo on a Spring Break trip in 1992-we had both Amaretto and Aliņo neutered at the same time, and since Aliņo is 5 weeks younger than Amaretto, we probably waited a bit to long in Amaretto's case, so that he was "overly friendly" with hippo at least three to four times a week-one of the few ways that we could always know Amaretto was feeling well! We loved the way that he welcomed us home each day, not with a meow (Amaretto has always been an amazingly quiet cat) but walking out to greet us when he heard the key turn in the lock and the apartment door open. One of the few times that Amaretto ever made any sound was when he meowed for a scratch session in the bathroom after one of us had showered, sitting on the closed toilet lid, reveling in the steamy room and thoroughly enjoying the successive stages of finger scratch, massage, comb, brush (hard bristles) and more brush (soft bristle "polish") that he even allowed to extend on to his underside as long as you pronounced the names of his parts that you were brushing in French! He even loved to have his head, chest and back blow-dried when "Mommy" Peg dried her hair, creating goodness knows how many "I am going to be late for school" episodes for Peg that almost happened on a few occasions! Unlike Aliņo, Amaretto loved to travel, perching himself comfortably right up against the back window on the ledge behind the back seat, sunning himself to his heart's content on each and every trip that we took when we still owned our Ford Tempo. Early morning "sunspots" in the summer time in our NYC apartment were another particular favorite for many years, so much so that we had to purchase a special cat scratching perch to put in the window at just the right angle to catch those early morning rays after breakfast on each summer's day-even cloudy ones, when he looked terribly disappointed that "sunspot was no good" before walking back to the bedroom with a huff of absolute disgust. Anyone who has ever said that cats cannot make any facial expressions or relay their emotions has never met our Amaretto! Another favorite memory is his delight at being "stretched" after a good nap-waking up and being held up in the air under his armpits by one of us, so that he could stretch every muscle in his body, including those in his ears and all the way down to his fingers and toes to the very tip of his tail. Being covered by a blanket during his naps was another favorite habit, and it did not matter whether the blanket was from Celebrity, NCL or Premier-Amaretto loved them all equally! If only we could have taken him on a voyage with us-he would have adored every minute, especially in a balcony cabin with those fabulous windows and view! His weight loss and constant alternating drinking and peeing clued us into his diabetes very early on, but despite our financial status at that time (1997), we fought with him to battle the disease as best we could. Amaretto was always a tough little fighter, and thanks to our friends on rec.cats.health&behavior, we learned how to test his blood sugar at home, monitoring him constantly twice each day for 10 years, with bi-monthly weekend blood sugar curves to maintain his sugar levels as best could. Our vet at that time told us to with-hold the food between meals, but Amaretto knew full well when he was feeling "low", demanding food even when veterinary advice thought it best to keep it away from him. He was a thoroughly spoiled and catered to animal, but he was worth it, each and every step of the way! We are only glad that he was at home with us when the end came, as frightening and horrible as it was for us. He did not suffer (except perhaps for those last few short minutes) and we never had to make the nightmare decision to terminate a life that we valued so incredibly highly.

Amaretto now joins Peg's Dad, her Uncle Ted and Aunt Katrina, Derek's Grandfather, Mom Caldwell's cat Saunas, a very special Boxer named Daniel Boone and his daughter Polly from Peg's early days in Madras, Kensington and Addis Ababa, Uncle Ted's and Aunt Martha Belle's beloved Springer Spaniels Peppa, Peppa 2, and Saylor, and a host of other family members and pets to become another Angel on our Shoulders. We will miss him dreadfully, but rejoice that he survived for almost 16 years that he would have never had at all without our care and ministrations. We love him so much and will miss him more than we can express.

Rest in Peace, Dearest Amaretto.
You Were Our First Joy, and Always Will Be, Forever.

In Loving Memory of Amaretto Caldwell-Ott
May 13, 1991 to April 7, 2007

Copyright © PegNDerekNAliņo Caldwell-Ott
May 02, 2007