What happened to Jasper...

Around 3:00PM yesterday I got a call from the vet. They had done his surgery, and found much more than the vet had even thought in his worst-case scenario. We all had honestly thought, based on him not being very sick and based on the fairly decent bloodwork, that we'd find a single fatty tumor, or even if cancerous it would be confined to the spleen or one lobe of the liver. They had planned to remove the cancerous part, and he would have had a good 3+ years left of *quality* time. But it was not to be. His entire liver was covered in cancerous tumors, and his pancreas was full as well. There was about 1 square centimeter of liver you could actually see in amongst all the tumors, and that bit looked like a liver with severe cirrhosis -- full of black holes. He was a VERY sick boy. They have sent out samples of the tumors to be analyzed, so I should know soon what exactly it was. Upon opening him up, the vet also discovered he was likely *significantly* older than we had thought -- 10-12 years old as opposed to the 7 years that three different vets had guessed after I adopted him. His outsides were MUCH younger and healthier than his insides.

I went to the vet's office and spent a couple of hours with Jasper as he came out of surgery, so we got to spend time together, me telling him how much I loved him and how much he had done for me in the last 2 years. I told him that when he was done fighting, it was okay to go.

Eventually he summoned up every last bit of his strength and crawled out of the cage into my arms, where I held him for about a half hour or 45 minutes as he slowly gave up his battle. He died in my arms yesterday afternoon around 5:30 or 5:45PM. He fought bravely right until the end, and given the extent of the cancer, he was amazingly healthy for a very long time.

The doctor said it almost certainly did NOT hurt him, and that he only started to get sick last Thursday as his liver began to fail. The doctor was absolutely amazed that his bloodwork and general health were as good as they were. He gave us NO indication of what was going on inside his little body until the very end. It's very possible this was something that spread incredibly slowly, and he'd had the beginnings of it even when I adopted him 2 years ago, or it's also possible that it was a *very* agressive cancer that spread like wildfire. We will know which of those two when the biopsy comes back and we know exactly what kind of cancer it was.

Jasper did not suffer, and we didn't have to put him to sleep. He died due to the extensive cancer, coupled with the blood lost during surgery. He was on plenty of pain medication after surgery, and he was very very brave.

I have absolutely NO regrets about what we did for him. We had no indication he was as sick as he was, and truly thought he'd have a few years left. But it was not to be. However, having seen the pictures from the surgery I know how extensive the cancer was, and I wouldn't change a single thing. I did everything I could have possibly done for him in order to make sure that there was nothing more we could do. I already miss him terribly, and will be forever grateful to him for everything he did for me. He was not just a pet, but truly a companion animal and a furry child. I will never forget how hard he fought; he taught me to never give up, keep fighting right to the very last breath.

And I always will. I will always fight my hardest, for Jasper. Rest well my little monkeyfish. I will always love you, and will miss your little stripedy head something awful. I will see you again someday when it's my turn. Thank you for the last two years.

In Loving Memory of Jasper
June 10, 2002

Copyright © Aim