Typical conversation with Zephyr:

[Zephyr hops up on kitchen counter]

"Zephyr, NO! DOWN! Get down from there!
[squirt, squirt, squirt]
No, dammit, don't eat the cheese first, get down NOW!!
[SQUIRT, SQUIRT, SQUIRT]
Do you even notice that I'm squirting you!?
[physically remove cat from kitchen counter]
Punk!"

Typical conversation with Zorro:

[Zorro appears with black dirt streaked all over his white chin, neck and front legs]

"Oh my god, Zorro, you're all dirty! How did you get so filthy?
What the hell have you been doing?
No, DON'T run onto my clean wet carpet with those muddy paws! Zorro, come BACK!
[stumbling over self trying to catch kitten]
What are you, a DOG? Have you been digging holes in the dirt again?
Carl, he's been trying to dig his way under the fence!
Pest!"

Copyright © Tess
March 11, 2001