Old order of things:

Two cats are sleeping peacefully; Grey Tabby on the sofa, Black&White in the big chair by the heater.

Enter left: Human Slave with vacuum cleaner.

Grey Tabby launches himself into orbit; B&W couldn't care less.

Slave cleans the whole room, except the big chair by the heater. She politely asks B&W to vacate the chair just for a couple of minutes. No response. Slave tries coaxing, arguing, pleading, ***ing, to no avail. She sighs, lifts B&W up to carry him off. B&W has other ideas. He digs his left front leg claws into the upholstery of the chair and hangs on. Slave moves backwards, only to discover that B&W's leg has turned into chewing gum. However, his body and hind legs are getting ominously tense. Slave isn't feeling up to an encounter of the third degree. She advances to chair, extricates claws with her free hand and moves away again. This time his right front leg claws are stuck.

Procedure is repeated several times, and goes on for months and months.

Finally, Slave has had enough. She walks up to motionless B&W and tells him he has two options: move or get vacuumed.

He doesn't move. Slave applies vacuum cleaner to B&W's back. It works. B&W shoots up into the air, lands in the chair, and stands still. Tail flying, back undulating, he purrs ecstatically and butts his head against Slave's hand.

New era:

Slave enters left with vacuum cleaner. Grey Tabby launches himself into orbit. B&W leaps up to take his position in the middle of the floor, saying with exquisite feline eloquence: ME FIRST!!

Copyright © Magnhild Kvernmo
May 9, 2002

Read Magnhild's other story: Cat Friday