Well, you'd think enough was enough, but let me tell you about my little "wake up call" this morning!!! ( I swear......TRUE story!!! Wish it wasn't! )

For those of you who have a cat or have had cats, you know that they are natural predators and relish in praise when they have "accomplished a mission"!!!

So, after all the boo-boo's yesterday had in store for me, I thought my streak of "oddities" was over for a bit!! Not so!!! (broke my finger yesterday in the car window all by myself because I (electronically) rolled up the window on my own hand as I was distracted. This led to a series of events thereafter, that only a Mother could appreciate, but all true.....I'll post that story later.........you won't believe it!!!!)

Anyway, I slept on the couch because I can't get in and out of the bed without a step stool and with one good hand (which, by the way, I took the damn splint off....driving me nuts and itching) I couldn't pull myself up onto the bed, so I got cozy on the couch with the cat!

Okay...as the story goes, we have had an "uninvited" visitor for some time now.   We'll call her "Mrs. Mouse"!! (not seeing any testicles, I assumed it was a "she"!!!) Mrs. Mouse was all over the house from daylight to sunset!! Got into my bag of noodles, and the flour and even ate the cat food!!

I knew the cat, Boots, had picked up on the scent nuts she lays huddled next to the stove and the pantry area all the time, walking around with that "pounce" look on her face and her back lowered to the ground, ready for the kill at any moment.

Well, evidently, in the wee hours of the night, Boots had success, because I awaken this morning to a mangled "Mrs. Mouse" on my chest!!! Obviously, she wanted PRAISE for the catch and a "job well done", and this was her way of making sure I wouldn't "bypass" the sight of the kill or miss taking the opportunity to praise her. ( Like I said, if you know cats, they THRIVE on Praise over a kill!!! )

"Oh, Boots!!! Bless your little heart!!!"'.......but, did you have to LAY THE DAMN MOUSE ON MY CHEST TO GET MY ATTENTION???? I would have PRAISED YOU no matter what, even if you had devoured the little varmint!!!

Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up and feel this wet, furry, bony dead thing laying on your chest, not realizing you are acting as a "mantel piece" for the trophy? I mean, I wake up half dazed as it is, and until I have had at least 24 ounces of coffee in me, I don't even make sense to myself!!! I remember rolling over and reaching down to pull off the blanket to get up and this "thing" dropped to my side on the couch. Immediately, I jumped up out of freight and wonderment of how in the hell did this dead mouse get here!!! Right away I notice two green eyes, dawned with whiskers, staring at me from the floor in front of the fan!! (her favorite place to sleep!) She was just laying there as if to say, "Well, its about time you got your lazy butt up!!!"

Naturally, (if anyone knows me) I began to have a panic attack (mild) wondering if this dead Mrs. Mouse had lice or some other parasitic varmint that crawled off of the dead body and decided to harbor itself on me somewhere, so I immediately stripped everything off, including the splint on my finger, and put everything in a trash bag and tied it up!! Then, I proceeded to grab the ANTIBACTERIAL hand soap and jump into the shower with it so I could wallow in it and cover myself from head to toe with "the killer formula" for bacteria and parasites, all the while hoping this does the trick and I don't end up with parasites burrowed into my skin somewhere!! (For those that know me, know that I am a clean fanatic and despise parasites!!!! probably all the nurses training and the text photos and films I had to watch over the years!!)

After my 30 minute shower (just to make sure I got everything covered) I decided to properly reward Boots for her efforts with a nice can of Tuna, her favorite. While her efforts were commendable, her desire for IMMEDIATE praise was not so desirable!!! Needless to say, we had a little talk about "the next time......".

Copyright © Yvonne