It's CNN News! (Cat News Network)...with Anchorman Bill Mason!!!

(applause!)

"Thank you Bill!"

(more applause)

"Tonight's top story:

MOUNDS OF AFFECTION FROM TIPPY; BELLA GOES FOR A WALK...

Good Evening.

The litterboxes were cleaned, showing the two new cats are making lots of heathy doo-doos. All the dry food is gone again, causing Purina shares to rise 12.7 percent on the NYSE today... less so the wet food (Friskies shares off $1.31 to $27.46 per share). All foods were replaced, and a nice clean water dish was installed, the floors swept, and everything put in order. Cat toys seemed to be mysteriously displaced again today, some conveniently placed underneath things.

Bella was so glad to see this reporter, and demanded, DEMANDED a 15 minute petting session, then, whilst opening the door, she rushed out into the Mason Mansion.

The "Cleo and Velvet Welcoming Committee" were on hand, giving her the following Mason family home greeting...

"*Hiss!*... *HISS!!*.... *HISSSPIT*!!!"

Well, this reporter knew that the status quo was being maintained. Bella ran like the wind back into her sanctuary.

Thereupon the shy Tippy started to be lulled with scratchies, letting the can-opener have a 15 full minutes of cat service. Tippy was even held twice in loving arms, purring quietly, to be put gently down without a struggle. He even asked for another pick me up and snuggle. All seems well, but this correspondent knows we are not out of the woods yet. Stay Tuned to CNN for further live coverage. This compelling news story is still just breaking.

So from "Hiss Haven" this is CNN war correspondent Bill Mason, turning it back to you, Bill..."

(applause)

"Thank you Bill... In other news tonight, we hear a new report that the famous cartoon cat Garfield is a fake. Details after these messages."

Copyright © Bill Mason
February 5, 2002