Well, we know whose Boss around here, don't we? Cleo cat is "Top Cat"... anyone knows that... "The Supreme Commander" just like Douglas MacArthur. Humans and Cats scatter in her wake. Cleo is "She who must be obeyed".

But "Number One" is only a relative term; the human care giver is really the "Number One". Right? The One who cleans the Litter Box, The One who feeds, gives water, grooms... This Human is "The Number Plus One".

I guess not. I may provide essential services, but I am not the "Pilot In Command". So I realized today when I decided to check everyone's teeth. Tippy and Bella are much too young to require dental work, but all Cats require a quick physical (for lumps and such). All Cat "Owners" should do this. The Siblings were no trouble, they will let me examine them easily, and they passed fine.

Now...

Cleo (MacArthur) was having none of this, but she knows if I close her and I in the bathroom, it means business; I did so. In her mind, it means it could be a bath, the worst thing that could happen to her. As long as no Cat sees what happens, it's okay. A fast Vet like inspection showed, to my delight, she is fine! Teeth good, no lumps anywhere.

So, I undertook to look at Velvet next. Big mistake. Velvet has never had a bath, and, since she nearly died at a Vet's hands is "somewhat" allergic to examination.

Finding the "Great Hiding Blimp" only took 7 minutes, hauling out the "Great Hiding Blimp" and dragging her into the bathroom only took 2 minutes.

Having the "Great Hiding Blimp" rip me to shreds took about 23 seconds.

Oh, I saw inside her mouth alright, while her front fangs were stuck in my left hand. No cleaning needed, just some to get rid of the human blood. She may be 18 pounds of Black Cat, but I'm relatively convinced it's not all fat. I'm not kidding here, she could have killed me, or seriously injured me if she wanted to. Right now, I'm typing right hand only because my left hand has locked up and is bandaged.

The claw scratches will heal without scars, I think. The one by my left eye I really hope will not mark. (Ever heard a cat foot whistle by your face, claws extended at 30 mph? Sobering thought).

After the "Examination" Velvet came up on the couch, sniffed my bandage(s), laid across my lap, and gave her best "Purr". She loves me an awful lot, and shows it more than even the Siblings. But there are places I must not "Go".

I know my place now, and am happy to be here.

Copyright © Bill Mason
September 16, 2003