. . . . that cats always use the litter box two seconds after you've changed the litter - or even while you're still in the process of doing so? (The box didn't even make it back to it's usual place today - I was still pouring fresh litter in when Ebony hopped in and did her business)

. . . that cats always feel the need to stick their bum in your face just after using the litter box.

. . . that cats only decide to use your sheets as toilet paper when you've got the good pristine white set on, and it's around eleven at night (I hate changing sheets at eleven at night)

. . . that cats only want to go outside when you want to keep them in and when you open the door to let them out they run to the other end of the house terrified (All week Ebony has run to the front door to get out whenever she hears it open. Today, when I want to take her out on a supervised play, she's too scared to even stick her nose out).

. . . that cats only want to eat whatever is in the other cat's dish, even if both dishes contain the exact same identical food (I fooled the buggers the other day - I put Ivory's food in Ebony's bowl, and Ebony's food in Ivory's and sure enough over they switched and unknowingly ate the right food. Nyahahahahaha!)

. . . that cats only want to play ten minutes after you've turned the light out to go to sleep (or ten minutes before you're ready to get up)

. . . that cats are perfect little angels when left alone in a room together, but start fighting after you come back in.

. . . that when cats fight, they do it on *your* backside and you're the one who ends up with the infected puncture mark on your bum.

. . . that cats wake you up at six in the morning to be fed, but then decide they don't want to eat after all.

. . . that cats completely ignore that tatty old net curtains that you've hung on *their* window, but try to shimmy up the good lace ones, leaving a trail of holes and snag marks as they go.

. . . that I'm so willing to put up with these dratted cats!

Copyright © Maryrose Lockerbie
January 26, 2000