Our townhouse is on a 5-acre residential lake, and there is a lot of wildlife around. Lots of ducks, geese, and the occasional Bald Eagle.

Imagine a perfect Spring day. Light breeze, about 75 degrees, spring flowers in full bloom, birds singing. So Oscar and I decide to sit on the front step and enjoy Mother Nature's glory.

I would like to digress here and remind you that Oscar has no feline dignity. He is the one that belches out loud, drinks out of the toilet, and has been know to sit in his food if he doesn't like it. He is a funny and sweet kitty, but he is definitely a "bubba". The World is his oyster and he loves every minute of it.

Okay, back to imagining. I am sitting on the front step. Dogwood tree blooming, bright purple azalea in full flower to my right, and my neighbors vivid red azaleas to my left. Oscar decides to curl up for a doze under my neighbor's azalea, and I must say it was a beautiful picture. About 15 minutes of this bliss, when three ducks (one female and two male) walk into my neighbor's yard. They are rather well behaved until the springtime hormones kick in. And unless you have never witnessed the mating practices of a Mallard, I would like to digress once again. If one male is interested, it apparently "sets off" any other male in the vicinity and they start quacking loudly all at the same time. The females let them know she is interested by quacking loudly herself, yet she plays hard-to-get by running away slowly. Their passions can reach such a peak that they are oblivious to anything around them.

Back to the perfect day... flowers, warm, napping big gray fluffy cat under a red flowering bush. I ignored the ruckus of the ducks, but I looked at Oscar to see how he was handling it. Real well, he was still dozing! About that time the female and her two suitors ran into the bushes. YIPES! Simultaneously the ducks see Oscar, Oscar sees the ducks and all hell breaks loose. The duck racket increases 5-fold as there is a chain reaction pile up when they run into Oscar. Oscar jumps out of his skin. The ducks take flight, which is something to see with the quaking, beating and whistling of wings, little wind currents kicked up, hormones quickly replaced by terror, defecation in fear. And all of this about 6 inches over Oscars head. He ran inside and I could read the look on his face. "What the F*** was that S***?" Oscar hasn't been right since. I don't have to worry about him wandering off again. Life is good.

Copyright © Meribeth Chemcat
April 19, 2001