• One day, without your permission, he gets his ears pierced.

• Your credit card is overcharged, mainly for "9-Lives".

• You find attached to the refrigerator a note that reads: "Leave a steak on the front porch at midnight, or you'll never see Spot again".

• Too many times a week your cat comes home after one in the morning, totally plastered and with a strong odour of catnip about him.

• You come home to catch him in the act of raiding your liquor cabinet.

• Several hundred dollars' worth of phone calls appear on your phone bill to "1-900-PUSSYCAT-MEOW".

• You find out that the lifetime's supply of cat food wasn't a prize from "Kitten's Life" magazine, but that your cat has been selling drugs in the neighbourhood.

• After failing to get your attention with constant meows and by rubbing up against your leg, your cat pulls out his Magnum-44 and aims it at you, demanding "Friskies" and catnip.